Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. for(var i=0; iGeorge Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. The future will soon be a thing of the past. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. We made 'em up. 3. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Required fields are marked *. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. It creates a hostile work environment. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. The planet is fine. You should die first, get it out of the way. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. }); "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. return cookiePair[1]; 5. George Carlin. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); All rights reserved. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) George Carlin 13. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads Every day we present the best quotes! The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? 2023 Inspirationfeed. Its totally FREE. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Right in the f--in head! He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. 1. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. This is the best we can do folks. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. . Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. ' George Carlin, 30. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. try { If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. You dont. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. if (window.csa) { Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. 50 Motivational George Carlin Quotes For Success The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. [CDATA[ You know what they ought to do with churches? Its important in life if you dont give a shit. I have certain rules I live by. 14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. Weve added years to life, not life to years. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. I mean, life is tough. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? if (a[a9]) return; They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. //George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. People are wonderful. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. stylesheet.href = url; All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. "I have certain rules I live by. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. I have certain rules I live by. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. George Carlin. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. Maybe this time itll work. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Well, we know what they want. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. Source; . The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Share your thoughts in the comments below! I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. I look at war a little. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. 3. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. They own all the important land. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. That is against their interests. What do you get at the end of it? Were so self-important. [CDATA[ He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. " George Carlin "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! (function () { Vicious Quotes Page 5. . My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. } What do you say? You have owners. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. }, George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) [CDATA[ Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. So arrogant. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Your email address will not be published. This is the best we can do folks. The less said about it the better. 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If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. It doesnt only represent the good things. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Dont look for it. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. 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The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. They own you. Its a great feeling. Stand-Up Comedy. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. " Forget the politicians. His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Who the fuck is going to invade the US? The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun.
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