Atma is beyond space and time. Your father was a wise man. what to say to someone who has experienced a death, How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say. form. Whether you are going to a Hindu funeral or just want to send condolences to an acquaintance, we've provided 15 thoughtful examples as a place to start. Although some people may attend the cremation ceremony, non-Hindus are not allowed to participate in the mukhagni ceremony. 8. Before making your decision, take time to consider the family's request. Funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as an expression of comfort and support. is in chatting mode, Heading towards stronger foreign exchange reserves, Omar Sharif: Best bridge player in the world, KPP: The Unsung Voyager of Kerala Industry, Social media savvy cops setting example in Bengaluru, Tribunal rejects claim on early conciliation number, Priya Menon is all set to take Sankalp to the next level. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. Often, the best thing one can do is to listen patiently without interrupting. Leaving footwear outside is part of local culture in India, and is a respectful gesture in this context. After all, some of the wisest people can almost convey a book in a matter of a sentence. The act of explaining to the son or daughter or other close relatives about the good nature and help rendered by the deceased and give condolences to them is called Enquiring about the grief. Liberation is characterised as the attainment of the transcendent. Traditional rites of Hindu funerals dictate that this ceremony should only be attended by men. For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. Drop her a note periodically, or even an e-mail, to let her know you're thinking of her. Sacrifice is not uncommon for Hindus, even if internalized. During this period, the immediate family follows all Hindu mourning rites. Usage of any form or other service on our website is All Rights Reserved. It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. Such people can be heard passing comments like When you look at her, she doesnt come across as someone who just lost her husband. It is customary to visit within 10 days the family of the person who passed away. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. There may be a request to turn the patients bed so their head faces east or for the patient to be allowed to lie on the floor in the moments before death (so that they are close to mother earth and their soul can depart easily). Visiting in person and/or attending one or more of the traditions and rituals the visitation, wake, or shiva, the funeral or memorial service, and the burial or final resting service can be appropriate and will be appreciated by the mourning family. People should wear white and not black. Where would it be held? Can I get anything for you?" Someones positive familial and community impact is enough of a statement to their character in and of itself. The grieving family may be visited by many wishing to express their sympathies and the time any individual can spend with them may be quite limited. Loss is hard. Is there a member of the clergy or other person she has in mind for performing the service? To this end, even a simple note will suffice. Support the family with thoughtful and appropriate Hindu sympathy meals, baskets and memorials. This can occur when friends or colleagues show up and we forget for a moment that it is a solemn occasion. This link will open in a new window. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. Any distractions must be shrugged away until we are out of sight, and away from earshot. "Mukhagni" or a cremation ceremony. The funeral home will have chairs for the family graveside on the day of the funeral. There is a gathering of family and friends who are grieving. Unfortunately, we sometimes see inappropriate things being said during such an occasion. During which time, the bereaved will recite prayers over the casket and place rice balls near the head of the body. In her own time and way, she will start to venture forth more. If you don't feel comfortable having your daughter view an open casket, skip the visiting hours and simply attend the service. If a Hindu, they can participate in the chanting of mantras. However, often, a Hindu priest is asked to perform theantyeshti(funeral rites). For many people it can be a great comfort to know that friends are thinking of them in such a difficult time. Hare Krishna. May God bring speed to your childs soul. then, practice it out loud, preferably in front of another person or a mirror. After bereavement, a person goes through denial, anger, bargaining, depressionand finally acceptancethese stages take time. Not visiting other family or friends, though the relatives may visit the bereaved. The family may return to work following the thirteen-day period of mourning. (Bhagavad Gita, 2.23-24). As there is no room for error, it is better to go prepared than be caught by surprise not knowing how to respond in such situations. Not attending religious functions or celebrations. As an elder or wise member of the community, it would still be common to invoke Lord Krishnas name even if this is the parents chosen lifestyle. Usually, Hindu funerals take place within a single day and sometimes, two days after the deaths time. It is better to dress conservatively. For advice on choosing the best form of communication to use, see our article: How to Offer Condolences, For tips on what to say and not say to someone who has experienced a loss, see our article: How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say, Paying Final Bills, Dues, And Estate Expenses. A mourner may return to a normal work and social schedule after this ceremony. If you decide to let her attend, prepare your daughter by letting her know what the service involves and address any questions she may have. Traditional stereotypes have shifted in other, more suburban areas of India. 12. They sit in the first two rows on the left, and after the service they leave, two by two, preceding the casket. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. They can wear open-toe shoes. "Would you like to have lunch with me next Tuesday?" Find the right Emily Post book or greeting card for you. The dos as well as the donts are important. There is a process of letting the deceased go and telling them goodbye with prayers and songs. Silence is golden: Mark Twains classic quote is noteworthy in the context of visiting a bereaved family. Not reading or reciting anything from the holy scriptures. Explain that you don't feel you can do it, and be honest as to why. are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our Privacy Policy. For instance, the death of a teenager is perceived differently from that of a 90-year-old. When someone you know has experienced the death, it's a natural impulse to want to reach out and offer sympathy, condolences, and support. India Today Web Desk, I. Will it be a private or open service? Recalling a good deed that the person did, but the family was perhaps unaware of, can be particularly heart-warming. There is a tendency to judge whether the person deserved to die the way he or she did. 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There is a Mukhagni ceremony where the family is given one last look at the deceased. At Hindu funerals, mourners should not wear anything black. Once Nirvana is attained, the reincarnation cycle ends. This link will open in a new window. Family is very important in Hinduism and healthcare decisions should be made together (normally with the most senior family member or eldest child). I understand that not only did your friend mean a great deal to you, but also that Keyur was well-loved by his family and community. Hindu mourning rituals will vary according to the sect, caste, circumstances of the family and a variety of other elements. Another option is to ask a close relative or friend to write some notes on your behalf. The preta-karma serves to assist the soul of the deceased person moves to the new body in the reincarnation cycle. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: So, the actual funeral takes place at the deceaseds home, although actual events can be considered a wake according to western standards because of its short span. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as anexpression of comfort and support. The funeral directors will take the body for bathing, dressing and anointing with the permission and in the presence of chosen friends and relatives before the funeral rites take place. Work from your dream country on a remote visa, A peek into where heads of various countries reside across the globe, This Diwali, try our tasty banana pudding recipe, Heal Thy Self | Early warning signs you could be in an abusive relationship, On yoga day, Krishnaprabha is an inspiration. While there's no rule book, the visitation, whether held at a funeral home or the family's home, is a good opportunity to express your condolences. Sleep is a basic bodily need, and lack of it can take a person down in no time. You can see he wanted his family to live well for many generations. Relate stories that show your friend in a positive light, and handle any humor with care. Close friends who are invited to attend will receive a personal invitation to the event. The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online Hare Krishna. The more eulogies that are to be delivered, the shorter yours should beno less than two minutes, but no longer than eight to ten. Such words are of little use to someone who has just lost a loved one. The bereaved family usually stays home from work for one week following a death. Caring for someone who is dying involves looking after their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. The last thing the family wants at such a difficult time is advice. E-mail shouldn't replace a handwritten condolence note, but it's a nice way to let your coworker that you're there for her. Flowers play a significant role in Hindu funerals but are used much differently from those in Western funerals. He was a good banker but wouldnt part with a dime if you ever asked him, Then there are a few whose sole purpose of visit seems to be to estimate how grief-stricken the family is. In fact, unless we are absolutely certain of the familys religious and spiritual convictions, it is better to avoid the topic altogether, and give them some space instead.
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